ERYKAH

2012-01-28T15:48:00.002+08:00

The reasons why I decided to put on a Hijab forever...

Assalammualaikum all. Many have asked me, " Why the sudden of wearing hijab?". In this post, I will be sharing with all my sisters and brothers out there. I will explain it to you guys from A-Z. This is not a sudden change, I've always been wanting to put on a hijab, but the same old question I asked myself before, "Am I ready?". Before this, I am not a good Muslim. I admit that. I was too influenced with the western style. I cared too much about "duniawi", I think too little about "akhirat". I distanced myself from the Man above, I only seek for his help when I am really in need of help. Oh Allah S.W.T, please forgive your servant, for I am only human. I still care about my religion, but I did not understand the beauty of Islam back then.

Alhamdulillah, one fine day, the Man above decided to bring me to the right path. The day before I decided to put on the Hijab forever, I faced a really "terrifying" experience. MashaAllah, only Allah S.W.T knew how I felt at that period of time. I woke up at 0700am in the morning for school. Before I head to the bathroom, I looked out of the window to breathe in the morning breeze. The minute I looked out of the window, my mind was filled with death thoughts. Yes, DEATH. I thought those thoughts were only going to take for a while, but it lasted till my journey to school. While I was on my way to school, I kept looking at my surroundings. I felt out of place. I did not know why. Everything seemed foreign to me. Then, I started thinking about ' The End of the World'. I asked myself, " What if Allah S.W.T decided to take my breathe away?", "What if today is the last day I'm gonna spend time with my loved ones?", "Am I ready to face the aftermath?" and etc. I've never had this kind of feeling before in my whole entire of 18 years living. But that day, I just could not stop thinking about Death.

When I stepped my foot into the classroom, somehow I stopped thinking about it. Maybe because I kept myself busy. It was just like any other day, laughing away with the classmates, gossips and etc. Right after Asar, I felt a stinging pain at my chest area. SubhanAllah, that feeling was really deathlike :( I turned to a good friend of mine, Filzah, and asked her, "What if today is my last day to live?" and I added, "Am I leaving soon?". I got really scared, I decided to call one of my sisters and explained to her what happened the whole of Tuesday. The sister said, "Maybe you have been neglecting the Man above, time for a change.". Tears rolled down on my cheeks while I was on the phone with her. I was that scared, really scared. The whole evening, I felt disturbed. Even though I was with my friends that evening, my mind was not with them.

The minute I reached home, I went to wash up and performed Isya'. Tears rolled down on my cheeks again. Again, I was scared. I felt better after praying. After prayers, I've decided to call it a day. I was knackered. However, I could not fall asleep. I kept tossing around on my bed. Came a voice whispered into my ears, " Shafa, this is your call. Your call to dress for Allah S.W.T. Your call to get closer to him because you've been neglecting him way too much.". I've got a shocked out of my life. I played different kinds of Duas on YouTube to make myself feel better that night. Still, I could not fall asleep because the minute I closed my eyes, I felt that that night would be my last night to see the world. Then I replied to that voice, " If this is really time for me to cover up, we'll see how it goes tomorrow. I might promise you tonight that I will wear it, but feelings can change overnight. I'm afraid to make any promises. Let's see how the day goes tomorrow."

The next morning, my alarm rang off at 6 in the morning. The minute I woke up, I thanked Allah S.W.T for giving me another day to breathe. Alhamdulillah. I went to take a shower and performed my Fajr prayer. Right after that, I went to get ready for school. Once I slide open my wardrobe doors, my hands reached out to the long pants and the long-sleeved blouse. After I've put on my clothes, I went to living room and told my Dad, "Dad, I think it's time for me to cover up. I am ready.". Dad replied, "Alhamdulillah". So I went to Mum's room to search for a matching Hijab to wear to school. "Mum: Why are you looking for a hijab?", "Me: Because I wanna wear it.", "Mum: Oh, you have to wear it to school today?", "Me: *laughs* No Mama, I'm gonna wear it forever.", "Mum: Oh I see, make sure you put the Hijab forever okay, don't wear it halfway.", "Me: InsyaAllah Mama, I won't."

So I continued looking for a matching Hijab. Then, Mum decided to ask few more questions. "Mum: What makes you wanna wear it?", "Me: I don't know. I don't feel right yesterday.", "Mum: What happened?", "Me: *tears rolled down my cheeks*", "Mum: Tell me Eka, don't keep it to yourself." , "Me: I don't know how to say it. I just keep thinking about Death till today.", "Mum: Don't worry. Istighfar."

Starting from that day, I've started to put on the Hijab. Till today, it is still on my head. Alhamdulillah. InsyaAllah, this change will be forever. I am still learning to be a better Muslimah. InsyaAllah. Up till today, the thought of Death still lingers around in my mind.

"Ya Allah, Kau panjangkanlah umur hambamu ini."

2012-01-25T15:27:00.001+08:00

Salam to all my sisters. I've came across a really good article and would like to share it with all my sisters out there. If you've already thought of wearing a hijab, ready to dress for Allah SWT, but still having doubts and questions about covering up, I suggest you read this article. InsyaAllah, this article will help to answer all your questions.

I Want to Wear Hijaab....But....
by Dr. Huwayda Ismaeel

All praise is due to Allah ta'aala as is deserved by His Majesty and Great Power. I send prayers and ask for blessings upon His Noble Messenger who drew the path for us to the pleasure of Allah and His Jannah. This path is a straight one that is surrounded by virtue from all sides and attends to the best moral characteristics which are increased by the clothing of purity, concealment, and chastity. It is the path trod by the two halves of human society, namely the man and the woman, toward harmonious contentment and happiness in this life and the Hereafter.

This is precisely why the Protector, the blessed and above all imperfection, has made wearing hijaab an obligation upon the woman as a safeguard of her chastity and protection of her honour and sign of her faith (Eemaan). It is on account of this that societies (both Muslim and non-Muslim) that have distanced themselves from the way of Allah and deviated from His straight path, are ill societies in need of treatment that will lead them to recovery and happiness.

Among the pictures that point to the distance of society from that path and that make clear the level of its deviation and separation from it is the open spread of women making a display of their beauty. We find that this is manifested regretfully, in Islamic (Muslim) society despite that Islamic clothing is also widespread. So then, what are the reasons that have led to this digression?

We put this question to a varied group of women from whom we derived ten major excuses and upon examination and scrutiny, the frailty of the excuses became evident to us.

Stay with us dear Muslim sister in these few lines so that we can know through them the reasons for turning away from the hijaab and then discuss each.

Excuse One: I'm not yet convinced (of the necessity) of hijaab.

We then ask this sister two questions.:

One: Is she truly convinced of the correctness of the religion of Islam? The natural answer is: Yes she is convinced for she responds "Laa ilaaha illallah!" (There is no god but Allah), meaning she is convinced of the faith, and then she says: "Muhammadun rasoolullah!"sharee'ah). Therefore, she is convinced of Islam as a belief system and a law by which one governs and rules their life. (Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah), meaning by that that she is convinced of its legislation or law)

Two: Is the hijaab then a part of Islamic Law (sharee'ah) and an obligation? If this sister is honest and sincere in her intention and has looked into the issue as one who truly wants to know the truth her answer could only be: ‘Yes’. For Allah ta'aala, Whose deity (Uloohiyyah) she believes in has commanded wearing hijaab in His Book (Al-Qur'aan) and the noble Prophet ('alaihi salaat wa salaam) whose message she believes in has commanded wearing the hijaab.

What do we call a person who says they believe in and are content with the correctness of Islam but who nonetheless does not do what Allah or His Messenger have ordered? Certainly they can in no way be described as those whom Allah speaks of in following verse: {The only saying of the faithful believers when they are called to Allah and His Messenger to judge between them is that they say 'we hear and obey' and such are the successful.} [Soorah An-Noor 24:51]

In summary: If this sister is convinced of Islam, how then can she not be convinced of its orders?

Excuse Two: I am convinced of Islamic dress but my mother prevents me from wearing it and if I disobey her I will go to the Fire.

The one who has answered this excuse is the most noble of Allah's creation, the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam) in concise and comprehensive words of wisdom: "There is no obedience to the created in the disobedience of Allah." [Ahmed]

The status of parents in Islam, especially the mother, is a high and elevated one. Indeed Allah [ta'aala] has combined it with the greatest of matters, which is worshipping him, in many aayaat [verses]. He stated:{Worship Allah and join none with Him and do good to parents.} [Soorah An-Nisaa 4:36] Obedience to parents is not limited except in one aspect, and that is if they order to disobedience of Allah. Allah said:{But if they strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not.} [Soorah Luqmaan 31:15] The lack of obedience to them in sinfulness does not prevent being good to them and kind treatment of them. Allah said afterward in the same verse:{But behave with them in the world kindly.}

In summary: How can you obey your mother and disobey Allah, Who created you and your parents?

Excuse Three: My position does not allow me to substitute my dress for Islamic dress.

This sister is either one or the other of two types: She is sincere and honest, or she is lying to herself.

We will begin with an answer to the honest and sincere sister. Are you unaware my dear sister, that it is not permissible for the Muslim woman to leave her home in any instance unless her clothing meets the conditions of Islamic hijaab. If you have taken the time and effort to learn so many matters of this world how then can you be neglectful of learning those matters which will save you from the punishment of Allah and His anger after death?! Does Allah not say: {Ask the people of remembrance (i.e. knowledgeable scholars) if you do not know.} [Soorah An-Nahl [16]:43].

If you must go out, then do not do so without the correct hijaab, seeking the pleasure of Allah and the degradation of Satan. That is because the corruption brought about by you going out adorned and beautified is far greater than the matter which you deem necessary to go out for.

My dear sister, if you are really truthful in your intention and correctly determined you will find a thousands hands of good assisting you and Allah will make the matter easy for you! Is He not the One Who says:{And whoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty) and He will provide him from sources he never could imagine.” [Soorah At-Talaaq [65]:2-3]

Honour and position is something determined by Allah [ta'aala] and it is not due to embellishment of clothing, show of colours and keeping up with the trendsetters. It is rather due to obedience to Allah and His Messenger (sallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam) and holding to the pure law of Allah and correct Islamic hijaab. Listen to the words of Allah: "Indeed, the most honourable amongst you are those who are the most pious." [Soorah Al-Hujuraat 49:35]

In summary: Do things in the way of seeking Allah's pleasure and entering His Jannah and give less value to the high priced and costly objects and wealth of this world.

Excuse Four: It is so very hot in my country and I can't stand it.

Allah gives an example by saying: {Say: The Fire of Hell is more intense in heat if they only understand.} [Soorah At-Taubah [9]:81] Dear Sister, how can you compare the heat of your land to the heat of the Hellfire?

Know, my sister, that satan has trapped you in one of his feeble ropes to drag you from the heat of this world to the heat of the Hellfire. Free yourself from his net and view the heat of the sun as a favour and not an affliction especially in that it reminds you of the intensity of the punishment of Allah which is many times greater than the heat you now feel. Return to the order of Allah and sacrifice this worldly comfort in the way of following the path of salvation from the Hellfire about which Allah says: {They will neither feel coolness nor have any drink except that of boiling water and the discharge of dirty wounds.}[Soorah An-Naba' [78]:24-25]

In summary: The Jannah is surrounded by hardships and toil, while Hellfire is surrounded by temptations, lusts and desires.

Excuse Five: I'm afraid that if I wear the hijaab I will take it off because I have seen so many others do so!!
If everyone was to apply this logic, they would have left the Deen [religion, Islaam the way of life] in its entirety! They would have left Salah [the 5 compulsory prayers] out of fear of ‘maybe’ one day abandoningit. They would have left fasting in Ramadhan because so many are afraid of not completing the months’ fast..and the list goes on. Haven't you seen, dear Sister, how satan has trapped you in his snare again and blocked you from guidance?

Allah [ta'aala] loves continuous obedience even if it be small. Then, how about something that is an absolute obligation like wearing hijaab! The Prophet (sallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam) said: “The most beloved deed with Allah is the consistent one though it be little.” Why haven't you sought out the causes leading those women who offer such an excuse so as to avoid and work away from the dangerous situation they find themselves in. Why haven't you sought out reasons and causes to affirm truth and guidance until you can hold firm to them?

One way by which you can gain steadfastness is by means of much supplication to Allah (du'aa), asking him sincerely to make your heart firm upon the Deen, as did the Prophet (sallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam). Secondly, by keeping up the prayers, being mindful of the deep meanings contained within the verses you recite, for Allah (Subhaanahu wa ta'ala) states, {And seek help in patience and the prayer and truly it is extremely heavy except for the true believers in Allah who obey Allah with full submission and believe in His promise of Jannah and in His warnings (Al-Khaashi'oon).} [Soorah Al-Baqarah: [2]:45]

Other methods by which to keep oneself steadfast upon guidance and truth is adherence to the laws of Islam and one of them is indeed wearing the hijaab. Allah said: {If they had done what they were told, it would have been better for them and would have strengthened their faith.} [Soorah Al-Baqarah: [2]:66]

In summary: If you hold tight to the causes of guidance and taste the sweetness of faith you will not neglect the orders of Allah after having held to them.

Excuse Six: If I wear the hijaab then nobody will marry me. I will wear the hijaab after marriage.

Any husband who desires that you be uncovered and adorned in public in defiance of and in disobedience to Allah, is not a worthy husband in the first place. He is a husband who has no feeling to protect what Allah has made inviolable, most notably yourself, and he will not help you in any way to enter the Paradise or escape from the Hellfire. A home which is founded upon disobedience to Allah and provocation of His anger is fitting that it be afflected with misery and hardship. As Allah stated: {But whosoever turns away from My reminder (i.e. neither believes in the Qur'aan nor acts upon its teachings) verily for him is a life of hardship and We shall raise him up blind on the Day of Resurrection.} [Soorah Ta Ha [20]:124]

Marriage is a favour and blessing from Allah,which he gives to whom He wills. How many women who wear hijaab (mutahajibaat) are in fact married, while many who don't aren't? Dear Sister, remember: a pure goal or end is not attained through impure and corrupt means in Islam. If the goal is honourable then it must necessarily be achieved by pure and clean method. We say the rule in Islam is: ‘The means are according to the rules of the intended goals’.

In summary: There is no blessing in a marriage established upon sinfulness and corruption.

Excuse Seven: I don't wear hijaab based on what Allah says: “And proclaim the grace of your Lord." [Soorah Ad-Dhuhaa 93:11]. How can I cover what Allah has blessed me with of silky soft hair and captivating beauty?

So this sister of ours adheres to the Book of Allah and its commands as long as they coincide with her personal desires and understanding! She leaves behind those matters when they don't please her. If this was not the case, then why doesn't she follow the verse: {And do not show off their adornment except only that which is apparent.} [Soorah An-Noor [24]:31] and the statement of Allah (Subhaanahu wa ta'ala): "Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks all over their bodies." [Soorah Al-Ahzaab [33]:59]?

With this statement my sister you have now made a shari'ah (law) for yourself , from which Allah [ta'aala] has strictly forbidden, namely beautification (at-tabarruj) and uncovering (as-sufoor), and the reason: Your lack of wanting to adhere to the order.

The greatest blessing or favour that Allah has bestowed upon us is that of eemaan (faith) and hidaayah(guidance) and among them is the Islamic hijaab. Why then do you not manifest and talk about this greatest of blessings given to you?

In summary: Is there a greater blessing and favour upon the woman than guidance and hijaab?

Excuse Eight: I know that hijaab is obligatory (waajib), but I will wear it when Allah guides me to do so.

We ask this sister on what plans or steps she will undertake until she accepts this divine guidance? We know that Allah has in His wisdom made a cause or means for everything. That is why the sick take medicine to regain health, and the traveller rides a vehicle or an animal to reach his destination, and other limitless examples.

Has this sister of ours seriously endeavoured to seek true guidance and exerted the proper means to get it such as: Supplicating Allah sincerely as He stated: {Guide us to the Straight Path.} [Soorah Al-Faatihah [1]:6]; Keeping company with the righteous good sisters- for they are among the best to assist her to guidance and to continue to point her to it until Allah guides her and increases her guidance and inspires her to further guidance and taqwaa [fear of Him]. She would then adhere to the orders of Allah and wear the hijaab that the believing women are commanded to wear.

In summary: If this sister was really serious about seeking guidance she would have exerted herself by the proper means to get it.

Excuse Nine: It's not time for that yet. I'm still too young for wearing hijaab. I'll do it when I get older and after I make Hajj!

The Angel of Death my Sister, is visiting and waiting at your door for the order of Allah [ta'aala] to open it on you at any moment in your life. Allah said: {When their term comes, neither can they delay it nor can they advance it and hour (or a moment).}

Death, my Sister, doesn't discriminate between the young or the old and it may come while you are in this state of great sinfulness disobedience, fighting against the Lord of Honour with your uncovering and shamelessly showing your adornment to men who have not right over you. My sister, you should race to obedience along with those others who race to answer the call of Allah [tabaaraka wa ta'aala]: "Race with one another in hastening towards forgiveness from your Lord and Paradise the width whereof is as the width of the heavens and the earth." [Soorah Al-Hadeed [57]:21]

You are forgetting your own soul by not fulfilling the right of your soul to obey Allah and proper worship of Him. Allah stated about the hypocrites (Al-Munaafiqoon): {And be not like those who forgot Allah and He caused them to forget their own selves.} [Soorah Al-Hashr 59:19]

My Sister, wear the hijaab in this young age; Allah is intense in punishment and will ask you on the Day of Resurrection about your youth and every moment of your life. [Soorah Al-An'aam [7]:34].

In summary: Stop presuming some future expectation in your life will indeed occur!! How can you guarantee your own life until tomorrow?

Excuse Ten: I'm afraid that if I wear Islamic clothing that I'll be labelled as belonging to some group or another and I hate partisanship.

My Sister in Islam, there are only two parties in Islam, and they are both mentioned by Allah Almighty in His Noble Book.

The first party is the party of Allah (hizbullah), the group to whom He gives victory to because of their obedience to His commands and staying away from what He has forbidden.

The second party is the party of the accursed Satan (hizbush-Shaitaan) which disobeys the Most Merciful and increase corruption in the earth. When you hold tight to and adhere to the commands of Allah, and among them is wearing the hijaab - you then become a part of the successful party of Allah. When you beautify and display your charms you are riding in the boat of Satan and his friends and partners from among the hypocrites and the disbelievers and none worse could there be as friends.

Don't you see how you are running away from Allah and instead running towards Satan, trading filth for good? Run instead my sister to Allah and follow His way: "So flee to Allah (from His Torment to His mercy). Verily I (Muhammad) am a plain warner to you from Him." [Soorah Adh-Dhaariyaat 51:50]

The hijaab is a high form of worship that is not subject to the opinions of people and their orientations and choices because the one who legislated it is the Most Wise Creator.

In summary: In the way of seeking the pleasure of Allah and in hope of His Mercy and success in His Jannah: throw the statements of the devils among both the humans and the jinn! Hold tight to the legislation of Allah and follow the example of the striving and knowledgeable Mothers of the Believers and the female companions (radiallahu 'anhum ajma'een).

In Conclusion

Sister, if you do not wear the hijaab, your body is on display in the market of Satan, seducing the hearts of men. The hairstyles, the tight clothing showing every detail of your figure, the short dresses showing off your legs and feet, the showy, decorative and fragrant clothing all angers the Merciful Allah (Subhaanahu wa ta'ala) and pleases the Shaitaan. Every day that passes while you are in this condition, distances you further from Allah and brings you closer to Satan. Each day curses and anger are directed toward you from the heavens until you repent. Every day brings you closer to the grave and the Angel of Death is ready to capture your soul. {Everyone shall taste death and only on the Day of Resurrection shall you be paid your wages in full. And whoever is removed away from the Hellfire and admitted into Al-Jannah, is indeed successful. The life of this world is only the enjoyment of deception (a deceiving thing)."[Soorah Aale 'Imraan [3]:185]

Get on the train of repentance my sister, before it passes by your station.

Deeply consider my sister, what is happening today before tomorrow comes.

Think about it, my sister - Now, before it is too late!

2012-01-17T15:52:00.001+08:00

Apologies for not updating my blog for days. Alhamdulillah, it has been a week. I'm sure you guys know what I am referring to. Frankly, this is not an easy journey for me. The weird questions that I have to answer, the weird stares that I have to accept, it is really difficult. But I am certain enough that this is what I want, this is my choice and I'm doing this for myself. It is for my own good. Therefore, I'll take whatever comments others have to say and just continue with life. I am truly happy with the change I've made. Truly blessed. Even though I am still struggling, I feel complete because I have the Man above to turn to. Not forgetting, the ones who have been supporting me since Day 1. You guys know who you are. Firstly, I am really thankful to have my family members to be there for me when things were hard for me. Thank you for listening to me. Not forgetting, my good friend, Filzah, to be there for me when things turned really bad. Also, I would like to thank Yafiq, who is forever giving me moral support through text messages till today. Last but not least, my brother, Upin, if you happen to chance upon my blog, thank you so much for still wanting to go out with me. You know, I was just afraid that you would not feel comfortable with my change. But I was wrong. Thank you for the support. :) Alhamdulillah, people still accept me for who I am. I am still learning to be a better muslimah. There are still a lot of things for me to learn. InsyaAllah, God will make this journey a smooth one for me.

2012-01-11T22:18:00.002+08:00

The journey has started. InsyaAllah.

2012-01-09T01:23:00.003+08:00

JUST FOR LAUGH!

Warning: This post contains heavy ugly pictures.

Please do not scroll down if you can't stand ugly faces.
Pictures were taken in 2011.

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Okay I better stop now before my girls kill me. HAHAHAHA.

Have a great week ahead people xx

2012-01-07T14:55:00.000+08:00

BLACK AND BROWN FRIDAY

Sorry for the bad quality, my phone doesn't produce good quality pictures. :(

I had a really tiring Friday. Most of my classmates and I didn't manage to sleep the night before as our assignment was due on Friday. So I was awake for 36 freaking hours. But I'm glad that the assignment is over for now. Yeah for now. We will be back on track next week. Sigh, life of an architecture student. Nothing much happened on Friday. Spent the whole day till 11pm in school to complete the assignment that was due at 1159pm. Gonna hibernate during the weekend. Till the next post.

2012-01-06T00:38:00.002+08:00

.STRIPES THURSDAY.

2012-01-05T01:49:00.001+08:00

"Don't you?"

2012-01-04T02:12:00.002+08:00

BACK TO SCHOOL!

First day of school was alright. It wasn't as bad as what I expected. Except that it was a long day in school. Class started at 0830am in the morning and I ended school at 0800pm. Thank God I'm done with Dip Plus powerpoint! Glad enough the presentation went well though my group did a really last minute work. Heh. I'm gonna miss Dip Plus! It's ending pretty soon. I'm hoping to go for more humanitarian trips! It's only the first week of school, I have to endure 6 more weeks of school. God bless me. I can't believe that this is the last term of Year 2. Omg, I'm going to Year 3 pretty soon! Not only that, my attachment is in March! *screams* I'm hoping that I will have at least 2 weeks break or so before my attachment. I want a getaway. I'm really sick and tired of school. Okay I gotta get back with my assignment!

Goodnight.
xoxo

2011-12-31T16:31:00.000+08:00

Back in 2009. I miss my bangs and black hair.

2011-12-30T00:36:00.002+08:00

THE LYRICS

Hanya sampai di sini sahaja

Kisah cinta kita berdua

Tiada daya selamanya

Terhenti di sini

Biar ku pujuk hati ini

Merawat rinduku sendiri

Setelah aku kau lukai

Sedangkan kau tahu

Kasih aku hanyalah untukmu

Tiada lain dalam diriku

Takkan berubah

walau dipisah laut biru

Cinta aku hanyalah untukmu

Tak pernah goyah

Tak pernah jemu

Takkan terpadam dalam hatiku

Ia milikmu.. percayalah

Mungkin sudah suratan kita

Terpisah sebegini saja

Pasti di suatu hari nanti

Ku jejak bahagia…

"A message that was not delivered."

2011-12-24T22:41:00.000+08:00

I miss my girls so much. I wonder if they feel the same way as I do.

And I definitely miss being skinny.

2011-12-23T13:38:00.000+08:00

2011-12-19T00:27:00.005+08:00

2011-12-19T00:05:00.000+08:00

One thing I love about myself is having the "I don't give a f***" attitude. Y'all can go ahead and say whatever you guys wanna say about me. If by judging me is making y'all happy or is the only living y'all can do, then go ahead, I'm more happy for you guys. Y'all haven't even talk to me in the first place or not even a simple "HI" to start with, yet y'all judging me like as if y'all have known me for 100 freaking years. Wow, I'm impressed.

2011-12-13T12:01:00.000+08:00

HAPPY HOLIDAYS ALL! HAVE A GREAT ONE!

2011-12-06T23:29:00.002+08:00

Dear Jac, I hope you are safe in God's hands. It was rather a shocking news to hear, but this is part and parcel of life. Eventually, everyone has to say their "goodbye". I do not know what made me head to Bugis yesterday. It was as if God was telling me something. And I remembered, when I was crossing the road, you suddenly appeared in my mind when I saw your apartment few metres away from the road. I was really excited to see you this Friday for the event, but I guess the Man above loves you more. Though we were not close, I am here to really thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for being there for me during my hard time. You sacrificed your weekend just to be there for me. Jac, I really do not know how to thank you. You were there for me, supporting me though I was at the losing end. You gave me the strength to move on with life though it felt like the world was crashing down on me. Jac, I just want you to know that you were one wonderful woman. Thanks for being part of my life. I really admire how strong you were as a woman, standing for every woman's rights and were really protective over me even though I was not your student. Still, you did not take that as an excuse. I am sure your kids are really proud to have you as their mother. Jac, if you are reading this, I just want to thank you once again for being there for me. Life is short. Cherish your love ones before it is too late. Rest in Peace.

In the loving memory of Jacqueline Ho <3

2011-11-12T17:04:00.000+08:00

SINGAPORE POLYTECHNIC POLY 50 RUN

TEAM ABE POLY 50

Presenting the runners representing ABE (Architecture and the Built Environment) school.

Time for registration! Oh, just so you know, the sun was a killer. Out of all the days, yesterday did not rain at all! I was expecting it to rain cause I've been wanting to run in the rain!

Time to give out the tags!

A group picture before the race is about to start!

Helpers for the event in red tshirt!

The race has begun! GO TEAM ABE!

AND YES, WE MANAGED TO COMPLETE 50 ROUNDS!

A DAY/RUN TO REMEMBER <3

&now I'm out for a run!
xoxo.

2011-11-08T11:25:00.000+08:00

My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf

I saw you holding hands, standing close to someone else

Now I sit all alone wishing all my feeling was gone

I gave my best to you, nothing for me to do

But have one last cry

One last cry, before I leave it all behind

I’ve gotta put you outta my mind this time

Stop living a lie

I guess I’m down to my last cry

Cry......

I was here, you were there

Guess we never could agree

While the sun shines on you

I need some love to rain on me

Still I sit all alone, wishing all my feeling was gone

Gotta get over you, nothing for me to do

But have one last cry

One last cry, before I leave it all behind

I’ve gotta put you outta my mind this time

Stop living a lie

I know I gotta be strong

Cause round me life goes on and on and on

And on.....

I’m gonna dry my eyes

Right after I had my

One last cry

One last cry, before I leave it all behind

I’ve gotta put you outta my mind for the very last time

Been living a lie

I guess I’m down

I guess I’m down...

To my last cry...

2011-11-07T15:32:00.001+08:00

Heads up, put on a smile on that face and move on. I miss being the old cheerful and happy-go-lucky me. I'm pretty sure that my body is tired of being sad. Hey lovely body, I'm really sorry about it. I'll promise you that there won't be the 'sad' me anymore. Hehe. Let's put everything aside and start a new chapter. ;) Things are going to be fine, I know I can do this. Though the past hurts me real bad, I'm not gonna let it affect the remaining days left in 2011. I've wasted my time for a certain someone for 7 months or so for a certain someone and just to find out that I was not needed in a certain someone's life and I was being dumped, just like that. Ouch, it hurts, but no longer ;) I kinda hate 2011, but why hate it just because of just one person. So dear myself, smile because you can. Smile, happy looks good on everyone.

My big day is just in a month plus time. Hehe I'm pretty excited about it. I just wanna spend it like last year, spending my time with the beloved ones. I'm planning to either have a small celebration like last year with the closed ones or celebrating it in Bali/Bangkok. Yeah the peeps that went to KL with me in Oct decided to go for another short getaway to Bali/Bangkok. Hehe can someone please bring me to USS, then a dinner at Carousel and a ride on the ferris wheel? :B Heh, I'm just kidding. Hello imaginary prince charming out there, don't forget to bring me to these places in my future birthday ok ;) Oh yes, feel free to drop any questions on my formspring; http://www.formspring.me/erykahyo!

xoxo.

2011-11-07T15:03:00.000+08:00

When a guy does this to his girl. Simply beautiful <3

I can just wish for it.

2011-11-06T22:08:00.000+08:00

Such an incredible and inspirational woman. I will train hard just to get a body like hers. Hopefully. Hehe. No no, not skinny but toned. I love you woman.

2011-11-06T16:16:00.001+08:00

"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow.

Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.

Walk beside me and be my friend."

2011-11-05T23:42:00.002+08:00

2011-10-30T16:07:00.000+08:00

"The hardest thing thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else."

"Sometimes I'm just missing, missing you."

Back to December. Remember those times we loved calling each other names. From celebrities to cartoon characters. And remember those times when you never fail to give me words of encouragement knowing that I was really stressed up with my school assignments. Lastly, you never fail to brighten my mornings with your good morning texts and you also never fail to put a smile on my face before I head to bed with your good night texts. Those were the good old times. I really miss those times with you though it was only for a while. I am regretting it now to let you go. I was stupid.

Misses.

2011-10-29T01:38:00.002+08:00

Thank God, I've survived 2 weeks of school! It's only the second week of school, but I'm already sick and tired of school. On a brighter note, 6 more weeks of school! My attendance for the past 2 weeks was really good. Hehe I was on time for most of the classes and I managed to attend 8am classes. So proud of myself cause in Sem 1, my attitude towards school was seriously..... horrible. Alright, let's get started with school. So, the first week was kinda relaxing, but the second week was hell. Second week was when requirements for BP submission were released. Sigh, I can't wait to get over and done with BP submission. Somehow, I am looking forward to my ITP (Industrial Training Programme). 6 weeks of ITP starting from March! I'm looking forward to see how things work in reality. Omgawd, this is so exciting! ITP = office wear. Heh I really love office wear. In general, I just loveeeee formal wear. So yeah, that's all about school.

I do not know why but I think I was really stupid enough to let go of someone in my past. To think of it again, I seriously need to be slapped. How could I actually let go of someone that was really really nice and treated me nicely. I do not know what was I thinking at that period of time? I should not have listened to others. This is what happened when you chose to listen to others and not yourself. I know, I know that it is too late to regret. Sigh. Seriously, why am I so stupid?! I wish I could make things clear, but then again it's toooooo late. I was selfish, really selfish at that point of time. I just miss those times. I shouldn't have take things for granted. I bet your heart has already rested in someone else's hand. Just like what Adele mentioned in one of her song lyrics, "I wish nothing but the best for you". I wish I could turn back the time to November-December 2010.

2011-10-19T16:49:00.002+08:00

Kiss me underneath the mistletoe, show me baby that you love me so

Hi world, y'all need to know something. Uhmm... I think I'm in love with Justin Bieber. Hehe. Yeah idk why, but the video above explains everything. Someone needs to slap me. I'm really in love with his voice and he has grown so much! Thank god he has hit the puberty stage. His voice is sooo husky and it's just too sexaye for me :p Yeah whatever it is, I love the MV. It's just uhmmm sooo sweet. <3 I'm in love.

2011-10-13T03:34:00.001+08:00

I'm a girl with big dreams. But as for now, I do not wanna worry/stress about my future yet. I do not wanna think on whether will my parents have enough money to pay for my future education or will I have a place in a University or what will I be doing after getting my diploma. I just do not want to disappoint myself and especially my parents. That, I'll let the Man above decides. As for now, I just wanna focus on getting good grades and get my Diploma cert. I swear Architecture is not making my life any better. Truth is, I'm disgusted with my Sem 1 grades. Though I'm very used to getting shitty grades in Year 2, I know this is not the kind of results my parents would wanna see. It's time for me to buck up in Sem 2 and yes, I'll make sure I'll give myself a dickslap if I were to choose sleep over lectures. I need to work on my discipline in Sem 2. No more strolling to studio during lunch time when class actually starts at 9 in the morning. No more snoozing my alarm till 9am knowing that class starts 9 in the morning. Most importantly, no more attendance warning letters!!! Lastly, get my ass back on the track and run for fucksake!!! I'm left with less than 2 months till Standard Chartered Marathon. To sum it all, JUST STOP BEING SUCH A PIG. God, please help this servant of yours.

Singapore vs Jordan

2011-10-11T23:35:00.001+08:00

Singapore vs Jordan with Reena Raman. This time round, Farsihah couldn't join us! Next game yeah babe ;) I really love watching Singapore's soccer matches though I don't really understand the game. It's really fun to watch soccer matches! Though Singapore lost again, I think they played well. Next match to look forward to is Singapore vs China! GO SINGAPOREEE! Kick their smelly asses! Heh, I've never been this patriotic to my country before.

2011-10-03T04:30:00.001+08:00

Off to KL with my lovely friends later! Virgin trip with Tiger Airways! :D

2011-10-02T07:04:00.001+08:00

2011-09-27T05:24:00.001+08:00

Yeah so I don't know how to love, I suck at love and I'm just bad with boys. Anyway it's okay, I'm too young for any relationshits. As cliche as it may sound, but yeah let love finds you.

2011-09-16T03:33:00.001+08:00

Singapore Vs Iraq with 'em girls at Jalan Besar Stadium! I can never watch a soccer match live cause I tend to scream whenever the opponent's team tried to score. Haha maybe that's one of the reasons why boys hate to watch soccer matches with girls? :p Though Singapore lost to Iraq, I should say that the defending team did a great job! (talk like some pro in soccer when I know nuts about it. Heh) More upcoming soccer matches to watch with 'em girls! That if I can get free tickets. Hehe. Yeah this post is a tad too late, but yeah I'm in the mood to blog so why not right! More posts coming up since I've already downloaded the app on my phone! So it's way easier for me to blog cause I rarely touch the lappy these days. Till then my dear readers, goodnight!

2011-09-16T03:16:00.001+08:00

Happy holidays poly kids! Hope you guys out there are having fun cause I sure am! Hehe.

2011-09-09T01:13:00.000+08:00

It's never too late to wish all the Muslims out there,

Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir & Batin!

Family Pictures.

2011-08-02T01:41:00.000+08:00

Thank God I found you.

"I'm really blessed to have you in my life. Praying that everything is going to be fine for the both of us."

2011-07-19T03:33:00.004+08:00

Hello all it's already 0322am! Gosh, why am I still awake knowing that I'm having school later! Thanks to the work load that I am having right now, it's just insane! Belardy insane, I swear! I don't know why I don't feel like sleeping. Hahaha crazy much. Uhmm yes, so I was bored and decided to camwhore with my webcam. Hehe sorry sorry, I entertained myself since no one wants to entertain me. :(

2011-07-10T22:24:00.000+08:00

PREVIEW OF PHILIPPINES TRIP 2011.

2011-07-06T00:38:00.002+08:00

I NEED TO GET BACK IN SHAPE!

I've been neglecting my run for ages. I feel guilty for doing so 'cause I've gained weight after my modeling competition. I started to not care about what I ate (well guys, that's not healthy) and I totally don't find a need to exercise anymore. Errrrrrrr I feel so bad :/ So now my plan is to get back on the running track and burn those fats away! I have to at least run thrice a week and really need to supervise on my intake of food. No, I'm not being a health freak, I just want a nice and toned body. Hee.

"TREAT YOUR BODY LIKE THE MOST EXPENSIVE PIECE OF JEWELRY. AFTER ALL, IT IS THE ONLY PLACE YOU HAVE TO LIVE IN FOREVER."

- quoted from Fay Hokulani's blog.

2011-07-05T00:04:00.009+08:00

AUDI FASHION FESTIVAL; CLEO RUNWAY SEARCH 2011

Hi all! I'm gonna update on my experience with Cleo Runway Search 2011. I know it's a bit too late to update on it, but now then I have the time to do so. So let me share how it all started! I was forced to join this competition. I seriously didn't want to 'cause I know my flaws better than anyone else. And I have zero confidence in myself all the times. So my sister actually secretly sent my particulars. Well she asked for my IC number and stuff, and she was already on that page so she filled everything! I couldn't stop her at that period of time. Girlfriend, Bella, accompanied me for the audition which was held at Fairmont Hotel, somewhere around City Hall.

Before the week to the actual day, we were really packed with photoshoot, fittings, modelling classes and rehearsals. That was really an intensive week for the girls and myself.

Photoshoot

Modelling Class with Carrie Models

Rehearsals

HERE COMES THE ACTUAL DAY!

WHAT WAS GOING ON AT THE BACKSTAGE?

ON THE RUNWAY!

HERE IS A SHORT VIDEO OF MY RUNWAY.

THE WINNER GOES TO GRACE LEONG!

AFTER EVENT PICTURES!

DON'T FORGET TO GRAB A COVER OF JULY 'CLEO' MAGAZINE!

I hope you guys enjoyed this entry. Till the next entry guys!

Xoxo.

2011-06-30T18:04:00.001+08:00

I think I used too many 'so yeah' in this video. :p Just fyi, I am working on the post but blogger is facing some problems and I couldn't upload any pictures currently.

2011-06-25T17:15:00.000+08:00

Hihihihihi. I'll post the Vlog a.s.a.p. But but I dont think you guys would be interesting in knowing about the Philippines trip anymore right? Sooo I don't have to post it already right? :p Uhmm well maybe, just maybe, i'll try find a new topic to talk about? Or why not you give me an idea what to talk about? Okay prolly that's not a good idea. I am really trying my best to blog regularly, but I just do not know what to blog about! Or maybe I am just plain lazy. I really envy those bloggers who can just keep blogging and blogging. Oh yeah, school is starting soooooon, I'm so screwed, bloody screwed. Submission is on Monday and I havent touch that part yet. Still editing my structural plans. Ergghhh Architecture is bloody sickening. Really a crazy course that will make all the students end up in IMH, totally not kidding y'all.

2011-06-18T09:36:00.000+08:00

Hey y'all! I wonder if anyone is still reading this space of mine. I'll promise y'all that I'll update once I'm home. Prolly I'll just do a vlog since I really have a lot to update on my Philippines trip. Well today is my last day here in Manila! Sad to leave this place but somehow I'm really looking forward to be back home. Till I update this space again!

2011-06-01T01:03:00.000+08:00

I realised that the more I neglect the Man above, the more problems I am facing. I haven't been having a peace of mind lately. I should say that my May was really bad, really really bad. Somehow I asked myself why am I still in this world? How did I managed to survive the test from the Man above. Indeed, I am very tired of everything. I do feel like running away and isolate myself from everyone around me. Then I asked myself, why must all these problems come to me? What did I do wrong? Then I found the answer. I realised that when times I was really close to the Man above, I always feel so peaceful. Though I was facing a lot of obstacles during that period of time, but somehow I felt that someone was there for me all the time. I guess it is not too late to change. It's better to be late than sorry. And I am really upset with myself for the past few weeks. I feel that my attitude is really disgusting. The attitude towards school work is seriously atrocious. I do not know what is wrong with me, what do I really want in life as for now. I guess my feelings are bottled up. I am hating the fact that I am badly affected with all the never-ending problems till it is affecting me in every single way, especially school. How long more am I supposed to carry this fake smile with me when deep down inside my heart I know that I am never happy?

Take me away from everyone. I want to start anew. I need HIS guidance.

2011-05-18T15:31:00.002+08:00

SCHOOL, JUST SCHOOL.

2011-05-18T15:18:00.002+08:00

I LIKE IT SKINNY.

2011-05-08T03:15:00.001+08:00

SCHOOL ON A FRIDAY

I've got no time to waste. I need to fucking pull my socks and fugging ace on my studies. I want to ace damn well in this field of study. I want it so damn badly. Work for it, girl.

2011-05-06T00:58:00.000+08:00

Hai world. I am so sorry for abandoning this blog of mine. Ive been really really busy with school and life right now. Well ya know, at times I feel like giving up in school! Cause seriously I feel like it's controlling my life. But somehow I told myself not to give up cause ive been this far. So yeah, perseverance is all it takes to stay in this course. Other than that, there's something big coming up! Well I'm not gonna say it yet, let's make it a surprise alright! I'll share with you readers soon when I think it's the right time to share with all of you! I'll try my very best to update this space of mine frequently. So stay tune alright! XOXO

2011-04-05T15:14:00.002+08:00

I wonder if I still have any readers reading this oh-so-boring-let's-yawn blog. Biggest apology to you people out there whom keep coming to my blog and see no updates at all. (That if I still have people coming to this blog la. Heh) Well as you guys know now i'm having my vacation. I was supposed to follow the school to Philippines for some relief work. But due to some personal reasons, I backed out from the trip. So what's the 'new' thing that happened in this oh-so-boring holidays of mine. Well, I tried something new, something that I'm so noob at and got no experience in it at all. So let the pictures do the talking aite.

This was the first show that I had. There are more shows coming up. Next show will be on 15th April.

Hehe and I managed to clinch an award, 'The best dressed'. Hoping to clinch more awards in the upcoming shows. The finals will be in May.

500TH POST SPECIALLY FOR MY GIRLS

2011-03-09T01:43:00.003+08:00

THEY ARE MEANT TO BE KEPT.

LOVE EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU.

STILL GOING STRONG, AMIN.

WEST COAST PARK

2011-03-02T04:18:00.001+08:00

01.03.2011
West Coast Park
Thanks for being there for me.
You know I love you.

Xoxo, S.

2011-02-04T13:39:00.001+08:00

Lil' nephew and I were bored. And it happened that he was on my bed while I was using my lappy. He's adorable rightttt. Love him many many!

2011-02-03T14:57:00.000+08:00

Thank God for the Chinese New Year holidays. Time to sleep in and rest a lil' bit though there are assignments to be done. The last few weeks of school are gonna be really tough. But let's pull through it! Anyway, I wanna do a lil' shopping when everything's over!

Things to get:

Black eyeliner
Mascara
A pair of black skinnies
A pair of black boots
Get my hair done
Over-sized black/white long-sleeves
Knitted cardigans

Okay that's all, but now where to get the money?

2011-01-28T00:55:00.000+08:00

I've been telling myself that everything's gonna be alright, but I was wrong. I am really disappointed. I wish I could just pour everything to someone that would really understand my situation right now. I need a hug badly :( at times I do wish that I have someone in my life that would be there for me just to listen to my rants. Because this heart of mine is too weak. Lately, I've been at my lowest. Never felt like this before. I am tired, really tired. Tired of going through the same old test. Do you hear me?

2011-01-26T23:20:00.000+08:00

Really sorry for not updating this space. :( Idk how to explain on how tiring school is. At times I feel like giving up 'cos I feel like I'm not good enough for the course. But since this is what I want, I really have to persevere throughout my 3 years and get the damn cert. I can't believe i'm left with only few weeks of school and that's the end of year 1.

I'm obsessed with running again. I hope that's a good thing! Yes obsessed because of the lady above! She really inspires me a lot and I'm dying to have her body. But the thing is, I need someone to coach me. I swear I'm a noob in carrying weights and stuff. :( Maybe I should take a CCA in year 2? But the thing is whether can I cope or not. Sheesh. I was thinking of touch rugby or rock climbing. Let's seeeeeeee...

2011-01-17T20:47:00.000+08:00

At this very moment, I feel really weak. It's so difficult to hold these tears. I was paralyzed after I heard those words from you. It was really heartbreaking. We have been together for long and it hurts me a lot to see you in this state. It drives me crazy. I'm clamping my lips now while typing because I do not want you to see those tears running down my cheeks. I've been one egoistic bitch all along, but now I'll take a step back. Right now, I wanna be by your side every second. I'll try to make that possible.

[HQMV] Baek Ji Young - Like Being Hit By A Bullet

2011-01-09T01:59:00.000+08:00

What's happening? What's wrong with me?

I don't know...

2011-01-04T00:01:00.001+08:00

I just made a cup of hot chocolate for me to last through the night ^^ <3<3<3

So how was your first day of school, tertiary students? Well mine was uhmm interesting. For the first time ever in my life, I was being the TYPICAL Singaporean. I was so kiasu, so not myself. Uhmm firstly I woke up late, so I had to rush to school. However I was lucky enough to get into the train that went to Pasir Ris straight. That means, I don't have to alight at Jurong East and wait for another train. Phew. I rushed to the ticketing machine to add value to my card, then I rushed up the escalator and quickly stood behind a lady. As if I was 'queuing' for the train. I had to SQUEEZE through the train and I totally hate being in that situation. A man mistook me as a pillar I think. o.O He leaned against me and read his newspaper. So stingy!

So what did you guys do in school? Well as for me, I was procrastinating most of the time. That's because I didn't even MAKE ANY EFFORT to do any of my assignments during my 3 weeks break. Bummer. Somehow after Mr Chow briefed us, I felt motivated to start on my work. So I don't mind sacrificing my sleeps :p I have two submissions this week! I know I can do it, yes I can. :)

And to my little sweetheart, get well soon okay baby. Even though I always disturb you every single day, you have to know that I REALLY LOVE YOU. Heh now this little girl doesn't like me anymore :( I should stop disturbing her. Whatever it is baby, get well soon. I wanna see your smile. <3<3

2011-01-02T02:28:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR SOULS!

Let's leave all the bad memories in 2010, and let's move to 2011 with a positive mindset! I totally thanked the Man above, Allah, for giving me the chance to see the world again. Even though I've went through ups and downs in 2010, I really enjoyed myself in that ahhhh-mazing year. I seriously loveeeeee my TERTIARY LIFE! I've met a couple of really awesome and sincere people whom will always be there by hook or by crook for me. Even though I had my worst in school due to certain people, well you guys know who you are, still I appreciate your presence because without you guys, life wouldn't be interesting at all and it wouldn't be colourful. Life would be such a bore, isn't it? Not forgetting, I'm so so glad that my girlfriends and I are going strong. Till death do us apart.

Not forgetting, Farrah and Edwin. Even though we don't usually hang out, I seriously appreciate you guys. I wanna keep you guys in my pocket. You guys are so blessed! Farah was the one who wrote on my student handbook reminding me to not forget to invite her during my wedding 'cos she's really curious on who will be my future husband. How cuteeeee <3 Don't worry babe, I won't forget about you.

Farrah is the sweet lady in black scarf. The one on my right is Shikin! We've been friends for 3 years and counting! Also I wouldn't wanna lose such a good friend like her. Hehehe thanks for lending me your cute daughter. You know I love you. Muacks!

And this guy here, Mr. Hafis Zainuddin, is someone who is really special to me. We have been friends for 5 years and counting. The best guy friend ever. He had seen me at my worst and my best. He knows my flaws yet he accepted me for who I am. Not forgetting, he had seen my ugly side too. Hehehe. He never fails to send me home. Sadly, i've moved to Choa Chu Kang, so it's a tad too far for him. Thank you for being such a nice buddy!

Okay let's move on to tertiary life. TERTIARY LIFE IS INSANE! I nearly lost myself when I entered poly. Okay I'm exaggerating a bit, but seriously it's frigging insane. It took me quite some time to find good people with good heart. And finally I found them! Let's hope that we'll still be there for each other even if there were to be a BIG obstacle blocking our way.

Not forgetting the wonderful classmates and lecturers!

Also, I won't miss out this person. None other than, my baby Liyana. <3<3<3 The girl who has been there for me. We've been through thick and thin, but still we're going strong as ever. 9 years and counting.

Last but not least, the very important people in my life. MY AWESOME FAMILY. Friends come and go, but your family will always be there for you no matter what. Thanks for the support that you guys have been giving me all this while. <3<3<3

Hope you guys enjoy reading this post! It's been ages since I posted such a long entry! Hehehe can I end this post with my ugleeeh face? Sorrrrrrrry!

Medina - You & I (Dash Berlin Remix) (Official Music Video)

2010-12-31T01:15:00.000+08:00

I feel like I'm on a high
A new beginning that is my life
I'm turning to the rhythm of the night
I am alright

The music is making me growing
The only thing that keeps me awake is me knowing
There's no one here to break me or bring me down
And no one here to hurt me or fool around

2010-12-31T00:59:00.001+08:00

Right now, at this very second, I am feeling extremely disgusted. I didn't know such losers exist. Seriously, it's just so sickening. Obnoxious little brats. You know what? Instead of meddling into people's life, why not you look at the mirror and ask yourself whether you need any amendment in your frigging sad life. _|_ for you no life little brats.

Pixie Lott - Can't Make This Over (Backwards Version)

2010-12-28T00:20:00.000+08:00

I only miss you when you call
So please don't pick up the phone again
In the confusion of it all
Give me time
While my mind's unraveling

2010-12-23T17:08:00.000+08:00

I am waiting for the day when people get this message stuck on their head.

2010-12-23T15:08:00.003+08:00

#2011predictions :

❒Taken ❒Single ✔Still Don't Give A Fuck

2010-12-21T18:30:00.001+08:00

SPSU ANNUAL DINNER; RHYTHM ON THE RUNWAY

2010-12-20T16:36:00.000+08:00

"Women, somehow unlike us men, get deeply involved with love .. When we break their hearts, man, we break them so hard .. Let's give them a break .. Or don't get involved in the first place.."

2010-12-15T01:14:00.000+08:00

Monday 13/12/2010

2010-12-06T01:48:00.000+08:00

I'm so fucking shagged. School, why are you driving me nuts. Listening to these old songs make me feel soooo alive. Thank God that music exists. Another damn submission tomorrow. And I haven't even touch on it 'coz am concentrating on my model making. A lot of packings need to be done. I'm moving house on Sunday. I want week 8 to pass quickly. I can't wait for everything to be over; 5 freaking submissions, Humanitarian test and presentation. I want all these done quickly soooooo I'm gonna be free.

2010-12-02T13:10:00.003+08:00

It's already December, time flies really fast isn't it. I find it scary though that time is flying way too fast. It feels like I didn't really get to achieve my 2010 resolutions. Well whatever it is, I'm gonna make full use for the remaining 29 days. I hope so. Currently I'm in the lecture room waiting for the next lecture to start in 25 minutes. I am getting so stressed up, I just feel like crying. School is seriously taking a toll on me. Well there are so many things to do for this final year project, and I find that I've not been focusing on my school work that much. Well I think maybe it's time for me to really discipline myself and start on whatever I'm supposed to. I got panicked attack right after what my lecturer told me. The 'to do list' is just insane. I have my language test tomorrow and I'm not prepared at all. Next week, I'll be having my presentation and also a test to sit for on Humanitarian Affairs. I can't wait for my language class to end. I don't think so I'll be taking the intermediate class. It's just too much for me. My brain is just dead. Well, I'm looking forward to the 3 weeks break, but still to think of it, there are sooo many things to do. Urgggh, submissions here and there. Okay enough of ranting, the more I talk about school, the more I feel like killing myself. Urgggh.

I'm gonna ease my mind by watching this! (:

2010-11-29T00:55:00.002+08:00

Though the time spent was not enough, it was really nice to spend those short hours with you.

2010-11-27T00:38:00.000+08:00

Down with fever. Went to school, but body was feeling really weak. Ended up sleeping in school, thank god there's a comfy sofa outside class. Vomited during lesson. Temperature was going up and down. Hoping that I’ll be fine by tomorrow. I have work and I have school work to do.

2010-11-24T17:20:00.000+08:00

"Keep holding on,

Cause we know we'll make it through,

We'll make it through."

2010-11-24T01:57:00.002+08:00

"Don't want an ending."

Things I Really Need

2010-11-18T23:30:00.000+08:00

2010-11-17T01:53:00.000+08:00

Helloooo beechezzz. School is driving me kkk-krazy and I am dying. Deprived of sleep. I have been sleeping less than 5 hours daily. I feel so tired but ughh I shouldn't complain. But I'm kinda free for this week since we just had a submission on Monday. Interim Crit went quite well, thank God. Ooo I've just received like 2 more assignments. I don't want this week to end. I want to rest plsssss. Urghh idk what to type, I think I'm gonna hit the sack. I am realleh tired. :(

2010-11-14T00:38:00.001+08:00

I AM SELLING THIS PROM DRESS AWAY!!! YOU GIRLS SHOULD GRAB THIS DRESS! IT'S REALLY COMFY AND SEXAYYEEEEEE. I AM SELLING THIS REAL REAL REAL CHEAAAAP. I BOUGHT THIS FOR A FREAKING $150. ALL YOURS AT $70! ANY TAKERZZZZ? IF YOU ARE INTERESTED, JUST MAIL ME AT shafa.azman@gmail.com.

2010-11-10T13:49:00.000+08:00

Stay home Wednesday. Since there's no school every Wednesday, I slept for freaking 14hrs. I guess I was really worn out. I woke up knowing that I forgot to change before I went to bed. I though it was just a power nap. Butttttttttttt NO turned out that I slept for 14hrs. I was half dead at night class yesterday. I've yet to get my hands and ass moving and start with the finalised floor plans, massing model before proceeding to the process model. Urgghhh, life as an Architecture's student. Critical Reasoning Skills test is tomorrow. Oh my gawd, I'm not prepared yet. =/ So many things to do, yet so little time. (Or maybe I should stop slacking) Now I feel like having the ayam penyet at Clementi and also I feel like having Ben&Jerry's!!! My mum just going to cook for lunch. I am soooooo hungry. And I also feel like having Gummy Bearssssssss :( I LOVE GUMMY BEARS!!! On Monday I had a packet of it, then yesterday I stole one from my classmate hehehehe and also shared a packet with filzah. Now I'm craving for it again. I think I should really buy 10 packets and put it in my school bag. It's soooo sacred that I'll only eat it all by myself and I won't share with others. Hehehehe.

2010-11-09T01:05:00.000+08:00

Fuck, I can totally relate to this. :(

I feel kinda fucked up at times knowing that I took all the initiatives, but in the end the things that I've tried weren't being appreciated. Still, I pretended as if everything was fine. Can't some people just try to notice the littlest things that others did for them? Just the smallest, not asking for anything much. Why is it so difficult? I don't know how long more can I stand this. I am always telling myself that 'everything is going to be fine, just give it more time', but it seems like my patience is wearing off. But still, I'll keep reminding myself that 'everything is gonna be fine'. It gets tiring when you're always thinking about it everywhere you go, every second in your life. I am tired.

2010-11-06T00:25:00.001+08:00

I want things to stay this way because I love how my life is surrounded with beautiful people. At this moment, I do not want to change anything that I have right now. Stay, please stay. That's all I'm asking for. Nothing more, nothing less. The fact is stranger than fiction. It's just amazing, I am blessed.

2010-11-02T02:19:00.000+08:00

Hello girls! Prom night is around the corner! I'm selling away my prom dress for 80 Singapore dollars! I wore it once only in my entire life. Haha! The usual price was $150! And the dress is from Daniel Yam, our very own local designer. I'm so sorry, I'll upload the pics tomorrow! I'm curently using iPhone, so I guess I can't upload the picture right now. If you want more details on the dress, feel free to just send me an email; shafa.azman@gmail.com

2010-10-25T02:01:00.000+08:00

School starts at 0830am later. And I am wide awake. I'm confused, I'm sleepy but I can't sleep at all. I hope for no Monday Blues. I am already thinking what should I eat for lunch tomorrow. There's presentation later and also BRIEFING on our new project. OMG screaaaaaaaams. I heard from my friends that this project is no shitballs easy. Just hope for the best. Work was fine on both sat and sun. Can I have Yvonne, Germaine and Kenneth on both sat and sun pls! I swear closing was damn fast and also with them around it's damn omg fun. Okay i'm gonna force myself to sleeeeep. Nights!

2010-10-22T03:31:00.001+08:00

No thank it's Friday! Work on weekend and I'm totally dreading to go for my Korean Class. New teacher = bleargh sooo not looking forward. I'm afraid it's some old fag. I'm tooo in love with the previous one uh. Tsk. Okay put that aside. I love school except for the assignments. I love my girls. They are totally dramatic and such a cute meanie. Hehehe. The real project is gonna kick start next week. Omg screams! It's 0330am and I should really hit the sack now 'cos my class starts at 0800am later. Omg loserrrrrrrrr.

2010-10-17T14:33:00.001+08:00

I am so excited for schoooooooooool. Are you are you? I'll be meeting fiqah at 0330 and gonna grab some clothes for school. Then, Fiqah will be hanging around at my place to do her work. I love Fiqah, she's awesome. This is the girl who called at 0300 in the morning just to say that 'SHE LOVES ME'. Omg babe, can you like be a boy. I swear I'd want you to be my boyfriend. And I know she's tired today 'cos she had class in the morning, but still she doesnt mind accompanying me to the town. Last Thursday, I was out with my school boys. Nothing much happened, we went out for a movie. We watched 'Dinner for Schmucks' and I swear I was laughing most of the time. It was damn hilarious can. You guys have to catch the movie. It's worth your money. After movie, I met my two girls, Suyi and Fiqah and we had our dinner at Mr. Prata. That was when all the rantings started. I love you girls. And also that was when I tried KOI. Omg I had Hazelnut Milk Tea. I had the large one with Fiqah.

Friday was very simple. Dad called me at around 0700pm then he fetched me at around 0900pm and we headed to ECP. I had chicken wingzzz. Omg damn orgasm I swear. I wanna go back to ECP to have their chicken wingzzz please. I should force my girls to go with me or if not, I'd force Haikel to go with me. I had work yesterday from 3-11. Well work was fun yesterday. I was lucky that Germaine and Kenneth decided to stay till closing. It wasn't that tiring cause we have 4 people working plus my boss it'd be 5. We closed earlier than usual 'cos we celebrated Yvonne's birthday in advanced! And of course the cake was from our shop itself. ICE-CREAM CAKEEEEE. Hehehehe. And today I'm working at 6pm-11pm. So wish me luck to wake up for school later. I know I'm gonna have a hard time to wake up, but I'm sooo happy to go to school 'cos i'll be meeting my gumsgums and the rest of the beetches. Kinda miss those project periods though. And I can't wait for Humanitarian Affairs class on Tuesday and also Astronomy class! Wonder what am I gonna learn. Alright I better get going if not I'm gonna be late!

**It's been ages since I blogged this much**

2010-10-14T02:39:00.000+08:00

Omgeee, I'm sooo full. I went for dinner with my classmates at AMK. Yes friggin maximum far from my place. We had Charco's. That's the reason why I'm damn full. B.L.O.A.T.E.D. I was happy to meet my mama Bella. Like omgee after soooo long of not seeing her face. Kaez exaggerating mood. And I'm happy to meet the rest of them; Abigail, Shannon, Shaun, Matthias, Zem, Ezzat and Imran. I'm soooo excited for schoool! Chilled at Clementi's McD with Haikel and I had apple pie! Again, I'm soooo full. Oh I feeeeel so bad for not spending that much time with my two angels-devils. I'm going out again later and I'm not gonna be at home soooo I'm not gonna spend time with my cutiepies. So soooorry hunny bunny, i'll make up to them on Friday. Gonna like play,sleep,eat,sing,watch cartoon,bathe,dance together with them! I feeeel so damn bad. I'm a sucker for babiesssssssss. They are just toooo cute to resist!

2010-10-13T01:50:00.000+08:00

It's the last week of hols. This week has been pretty good I guess. I had a good swim with Fatiin yesterday. It was an impromptu outing. She gave me a call on Monday saying that she feels like going for a swim. Since I was plan-less, I decided to go. We went to Sengkang just for the sake of the Indoor pool. OMG, we're so vain. But I'd rather go indoor 'cos the weather was killing me. It's a good time to go for a swim in this kinda weather. Oh wells, soooo now 'Swimming' is like our new hobby. Prolly we're gonna make this once a week? Well, it's a good start though. The first time ever after a swim, my muscles are aching. Wow that shows I did quite a lot eh. Hehe. It was a simple yet productive Tuesday. Now I can feeeeel the pressure since school is in few days time. Another project coming means SLEEPLESS NIGHTS. I haven't start my revision on my Hangul :( However, I am looking forward to Humanitarian Affairs. I am hoping that I'd do well in both courses. God, give me some strength. Oh yeah, Filzah and I chose Calendars and Astronomy for our GEMS. Hehe I am sooooo excited to attend to the lecture. Starssssssssssssssssssssssssssss <3 A challenging semester to look forward to. :)

2010-10-11T02:01:00.001+08:00

It was really a sad journey to work on Sunday. The songs that were playing on my mp3 wasn't helping that much. I was just trying to control my emotions, but I failed.

BAG AND DRESS HUNTING

2010-10-08T03:54:00.003+08:00

I was out with Haikel to Orchard. It was a pretty Thursday. I love the weather. Bag and dress hunting. The bag I wanted from topshop couldn't be found. I didn't know that bag hunting was that difficult. I thought of getting another baggu, but I thought of getting something that is versatile where it can match all kinds of clothes I put on. Bag hunting failed. I couldn't find any that attracts my eyes. Except for the one at Zara. Dress hunting wasn't successful as well. The ones at New Look are way too tight-fitting. The ones at Zara are amazing, but no size. End up I bought a top at Zara. I only managed to get A TOP for one day. Omg, I didn't know shopping can be that tedious. We kinda rushed home 'cos Haikel needs to get his skateboard. We had supper at WCP and parted at 12:30.

2010-10-07T01:30:00.000+08:00

I am so tired of being too patient. I am so tired of being the good girl. I am so tired of being the nice girl. In the end, people would just step on my head.

2010-10-04T23:00:00.001+08:00

Hello lovely readers! I am in the mood to blog and I think I have a lot of things to share with you guys. :) As you guys can see in the picture above, I'm sitting next to a box. Oh yes, maybe some of you already know, I am moving to a new house this November. My house is currently filled with boxes. I've packed some of my clothes. I feel kinda sad though. Somehow, I am gonna miss all the memories I had here. :( West Coast is so easy. Food, chilling places, direct buses to the destination you wanna go to, many shops and etc. I'm left with approximately a month left. I am hoping that my new abode is gonna be easy for me to hunt for food. Hees. I can't walk to West Coast Park anymore :( No more late night hang outs with friends at WCP. No more random Starbucks Dates with gfs. The saddest part is that, I can't take my own sweet time to get ready to school.

I've gotten my results. I did okay for two modules. Not sure about the other modules. They didn't accumulate everything. I gotta wait for semester 2 to end then I'll get my proper GPA. Anyways, I'm offered to take Diploma Plus. Well, I am still thinking about it. I don't know if I should go for it or not? My eldest sister strongly encouraged me to go for it. Mama agreed to it as well. Now it's up to me whether I want it or not. Should I just grab this chance? Maybe I'll decide by tomorrow after the briefing. I don't know if time will allow me to. My tedious course, language class, work and diploma plus??? I am pretty confused. I am gonna make full use of these 3 years in poly. If I have to bleed, I don't mind. I just wanna put a smile on my mama's face.

2010-10-04T15:22:00.001+08:00

SALAM LEBARAN WITH TSS

We've been together for 4 years and counting <3 I really appreciate these people presence. Though we don't usually hang out, but thanks for being there peeps. I'm hoping for another outing with you guys. Seriously looking forward to it! If anyone of you is reading my blog, most probably we're planning on a chalet at the end of the month. ^^v And to those who are seating for you GCE 'O' Level, I wish you guys all the best! Study hard and smart! See you guys in Poly next year! Don't give up! Fight all the way through this painful journey. Hard work pays off!

2010-09-28T00:14:00.001+08:00

Hello world. There's a random shit that I'd like to share. Just being random actually.

I've been wanting to be an air stewardess really bad. Whenever someone asks me about my ambition, I'd tell them that I am dying to be an air stewardess. Apart from being able to travel around the world, I'd love to meet new people from any part of the world. The reason why I am taking 3rd language is because of THIS. I thought of taking one more language after I'm done with Korean. Well some girls think that being an air stewardess is so 'cool' as they'd get to travel around the world and the salary is quite high. Definitely not for me. If only I've managed to meet the requirements to enter Aviation Management & Services in TP, I'd definitely go for it 'coz my interest for it is seriously unexplainable! But sadly, I didn't have the chance. If I were to get the chance, I am interested in working with either Singapore Airlines, Qatar Airways or Etihad Airways. Hopefully, God has another thing in store for me in the future. I've once talked to my mum about it and she supports my decision once I've completed my diploma. Well I'm not sure if she still agrees about this. My siblings seemed to be fine with it as well. However, my cousin advised me not to since he's an air steward himself. He told me that don't put my education to waste and also once I've become one, I would not even think of continuing my studies. He even told me that some of the girls there are too used to having good life and they are always spending. Always spending on branded goods which is NOT a good thing. Even my aunt told me not to be one 'coz it's not an easy job and also, this is just a 'temporary' job. Well, I kinda agree with them actually. Looking at my eldest sis right now, I am the one who feel tired. She told me that she might want to stop flying, 'coz she can't stand the hectic schedule. I think I am pretty confused with what I want in life and who I want to be in the future. Should I just stick to what I am majoring in now, which is Architecture? What do you guys think?

2010-09-24T01:26:00.001+08:00

2010-09-23T15:36:00.000+08:00

harrroooooooo!herrrooooooooo!

Few minutes before I get ready for work. I shall update at least something on this lil' space of mine. So yesterday I worked for frigging 12.5 hours. I swear I could faint anytime yknow. Well, they squeezed all the trainings in one day. I was starving as well 'coz we were only given half an hour break. I've got my uniform. Cute ha must wear cap. I'm gonna look damn freaking retarded I think. But at the same time quite cute la. HEHEHEHEHE. I wished we can just wear home clothes like frolicks workers. But uhmm too bad too sad. Yesterday was uhmmm fun. Tasted different kinds of ice-cream which made me wanna puke! Made new friends with Alvin, Winnie, Kenneth and Yvonne. <3 Harro harro people. Hoping that I'd be able to make friends with the part-timers today. If I'm not wrong, everything is gonna be free today. So don't really have to worry about POS. But am so gonna freak out making the ice-cream on the slab. I hope customers are gonna be a lil' nice for today. Well not only for today, but for the rest of my life. Oppsie, am running late. Gonna batheeeeeeeeeeee then get ready for work then travel to my destination then put on my uniform thennnnnnnnnnnnnn put on my cute cap and meet cute customers. HEHEHEH kaez just kidding. See you when I see you. And ooooooooooo screamssssssssssssss JAY PARK!

2010-09-20T00:21:00.000+08:00

I have nothing interesting to blog about :( Anything you wanna know?

2010-09-18T20:15:00.000+08:00

Sorry for neglecting my blog. I was away for 3 days for school trip. Gotta upload more photos on my blog when I have the time to do so. Currently, am busy preparing foods and drinks for the guests. See you readers soon. :)

2010-09-13T12:58:00.003+08:00

Selamat hari raya maaf zahir dan batin. <3

Forgive me if I've ever hurt your feelings.

2010-09-07T22:08:00.001+08:00

Harro! I'm finally done and over with school assignments. *Screams* Self-declared holidays starting from tomorrow onwards. :) Proud of my group mates, nice work dudes/dudettes. Eggcited for vacation break! But I think I'm gonna spend my time working. Going for interview tomorrow. *crosses fingers* Wooo I'm loving the hols. Wokaez, am in love with Jeffrey Campbell wedge/boots. Can I get it prettaye soon pls? =D

Yums yums, I want these.

2010-09-07T00:19:00.005+08:00

Eff up grades! Eff grades! Damn disappointed urggggh. Just so you know, I did badly as compared to the first project. No 'As' this time :( No more skipping lectures, coming school late and I better do properly in Semester 2. I need to kick my damn ass. Okay nvm, not gonna give up. I'm gonna try my best next time. Gotta be more positive in life. I know I can do it, so the rest too. Okay Archi mates, let's kick some butts for Sem 2. I need my As again!

2010-09-03T00:18:00.001+08:00

Selling off my American Apparel Fine Jersey Seamless T-Shirt Dress

Light Blue

Size S
Wore once.

Selling off at S$30

Bought this top for 12 United Kingdom Pounds + 10.50 United Kingdom Pounds for shipping.

If you are interested, mail me at shafa.azman@gmail.com

2010-09-02T23:22:00.001+08:00